Captain's Blog - star date?? The Trekkie Big
Bang US Road Trip continues...
Having managed to temporarily incapacitate the alien being known to many as Q,
to others as his latest incarnation, Sheldon, Mork, or Spock (half human), or to
me as Data (fully Android), we have temporarily managed to gain control of the
blog records. Using my recently acquired Suunto Ambit 2 sports watch, featuring 8 sensors
(the real 'hebbe dingje' which Q modified one evening into a Star Trekkie
Tri-corder) I have only been able to detect 2 human life forms in the vehicle,
Astrid (Penny, or is it Mindy) and I. 
Q (first science officer) has been producing copious amounts of a green mucous
material, coughing & spluttering his way through our adventures "to
boldly cough where few men have coughed before." Simultaneously, he has been disgorging voluminous tomes of geological and
scientific data and facts on the lunar type landscapes which we find
ourselves in, whilst giving a detailed history of the creation of our solar
system, including Earth, and also climate change. His internal hard drive however has apparently
gone into an infinite loop sequence, that sees him take thousands
of photos and then proclaim after each "shot of the day." This is usually
followed by "glorious cover drive." Strangely there are never any
people in Data's photos, something he calls visual pollution of great
scenery......A reboot is clearly long overdue and I have administered the
medication to do it. 
So back to today. We managed to sleep in until 07:00hrs, had coffee at the European style
cafe 'Little L's', (which thankfully had US style prices), and then set a course with
the Garmin GPS navigator to Capital Reef National Park,
on the very edge of the heliosphere. Our first trek after the Visitors Centre briefing was up the Grand Wash gorge and into the canyon which time had clearly forgotten. Just days earlier the region was hit by flash floods, where 50% of the annual precipitation fell in 2 days, washing away many of the trails and roads in the area. Danger is our middle name.Unperturbed, we ventured forth, coming across many petrified giant iguana's which littered our path, as we manoeuvred along the canyon floor. We half expected to see Raquel Welch in a loin cloth running towards us at any moment, chased by pre-historic creatures.........or perhaps by bands of marauding Australian misogynists. Sadly, this did not occur!!! This deep foreboding canyon was boxed in on both sides by steep walls of variegated sandstone and volcanic ash.
It tells the story of extraordinary geological change over hundreds of millions of years, caused by upthrusts of biblical proportions, cataclysmic events that saw ocean floors become mountains, mass extinctions (5 so far, with one, The Great Dying, eradicating 90% of all species), asteroid strikes, supervolcano eruptions, and most devastating of all, by Homo sapiens, who came to the area only 10,000 years ago. Some 3 hours later we emerged battered and a little bruised and then set off for Capital Gorge, with its iconic Cassidy Arch and Golden Throne structures. The way my stomach was feeling the Golden Throne was a great destination!! On this occasion, we needed to travel fast and light, so I only took Data with me to chronicle my trip, most particularly the gym session on the very Arch itself which included 50 press ups at 7,000ft. Sadly, I had not counted on Data's alien physiology, where on the ascent my Suunto Tri-corder was registering my heart rate at 155 bpm, whilst his heart rate barely broke 100. We ran down the 1000 ft descent to re-join 'Penny', who was entertaining the locals with tales of derring-do and looking for a man named Aaron Andrews from Calgary.......
The photos attest to the amazing scenery and freaks of nature that we encountered along the way. As the sun began to set, huge winds blew up across the plains and we were forced to retreat to a Ribs And Steak house, affording glorious views of the Red Rock ranges, viewed through 3 bottles of Pinot Grigio, several Corona's and very large food portions. Q, as is his want, proceeded to consume his entire body weight in food, burped loudly and then retired to his quarters, taking Penny along with him. I stared into darkness with intrepedation, worrying what the morrow would bring once the ephedrine that I had added to Data's drink actually took effect.Could I survive the full 14 days of the Trekkie Big Bang road trip, or would my head explode with all the knowledge that I was being drip fed in our Vulcan mind meld sessions??
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